Recipe: Mama Thompson’s Famous Chili
Ingredients
1 tbsp. vegetable oil
1 yellow onion, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped
2 lb. ground beef
4 garlic cloves, chopped
2 tbsp. chili powder
1 tbsp. ground cumin
2 tsp. dried oregano
1 28-oz. can diced tomatoes
1 8-oz. can tomato sauce
3 15-oz. cans kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 14-oz. can beef broth
1 chipotle chile in adobo
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. ground black pepper
Sour cream, sliced jalapeños, and tortilla chips, for serving
When the days get shorter and the temperature begins to drop, nothing warms my belly and soul quite like a bowl of Mama Thompson’s chili. It’s hearty, meaty, simple, and most of all, delicious. Keep reading to find out just what makes Mama T’s chili so famous!
Growing up in Mancos, Colorado, there wasn’t anything our town looked forward to more than the annual chili cook-off, of which this very recipe took home 2nd place in 1998! My family was lucky enough to live next door to Mama T, and after a long while of begging, my mother finally pried this recipe from her, and I am honored to pass on the legacy of this chili by sharing it with you all.
First, start by browning your beef in a pan. Make sure to drain the meat, as well. Mama Thompson always said, “Pass through the fire to Mama,” when browning her beef, she really liked to say that. Maybe you can try it too. And to address the elephant in the room, yes, what happened was tragic, but the chili speaks for itself. Just last week I whipped up a heaping pot of Mama T’s chili for my sons and I– ok, actually, lets get a few things out of the way.
Mama Thompson was a saint. “The Mancos Butcher” is a little bit of an oversell. She volunteered at the animal shelter on the weekends, raised three sons, and, sure, also ended up also murdering them, but we don’t really know why. They could have been real jerks. She was a single mother. It was hard for her. I mean, I’m not making excuses for her behavior, but three boys? By yourself? Enough to drive anyone off-the-rails! I only have two and they’ve been pushing it lately. Josiah is turning into a monster who only knows how to talk-back. What a mouth on that child. And Foster. Foster will make these faces after EVERYTHING I say. Why does “please clean your room” warrant such sass? I want to strangle them! Just kidding. Haha. Sometimes I find myself asking, “how much longer can I take this?” Well, when Helen was taken from us, I knew it would be hard, but this is something else. Who knew 13 year old boys could be so unbearable? Well, Mama T did, that’s for sure.
I apologize. This chili… it will knock your socks off! So what you want to do next is combine all your other ingredients in a large pot with the brown beef, give it a stir, and let that baby cook low and slow for a few hours. The secret ingredient is the cumin; it’s earthy and warm, and really elevates the dish as a whole. In fact, my mother would sometimes double the cumin! Try it if you’re feeling adventurous!
Another thing. Mama Thompson tried her best. We were neighbors so believe me, I know. I watched her a lot. She also watched me, a lot. It was comforting. I enjoyed her eye. And let me remind you: every Sunday she was in a pew, giving her time, money, and service to the Lord. She dedicated her life to helping those in need, especially the children in Mancos. Mama T even held choir lessons in her house, you could hear them practicing late into the evening on the quieter nights. I would often sneak out just to listen; it was just so lovely to hear that chanting! Could never really make out what they were saying but I have to believe it was some sort of hymn. Either way, it was beautiful. So just because she took the lives of her three sons and those police officers doesn’t mean she isn’t up there in Heaven, watching us all enjoy another spoonful of her famous chili.
Now, a tip is to watch the consistency. If it looks like it’s getting a little dry, add half a cup water! But, honestly, were you there? Do you know what actually happened? No. You weren’t. All we know is that the authorities were called after her sons failed to show up for school three days in a row, and they discovered their nude, dismembered bodies on an altar in the basement. Well, inside a hidden room in the basement. And those police officers obviously startled Mama T, who, in confusion, shot them. And then dismembered them. Do you know how easy it is to impersonate an officer? Costume shop, anyone? Not the most ridiculous scenario, now is it? No, I didn’t think so.
Right, well. The garnishes are optional, but I really recommend the jalapeños if you’re something of a heat-seeker. That reminds me. Don’t blame Mama Thompson. This could happen to anyone. It could happen to you, it could happen to me. What Mama T did was obviously the work of Satan. The Devil is not subtle. I mean, look at what investigators discovered. Daggers branded with strange markings on them. A grimoire written in latin, the pages made from human skin. “MOLOCH” scrawled in blood all over the walls. Her son’s hearts were removed and in some sort of brass minotaur-shaped vessel. I mean, come ON. That’s Devil Worship 101. That is a summoning ritual. I looked it up. That’s exactly what it is. So, reader, do not let a few murders stop you from trying this chili. Because, trust me, that is exactly what He wants: He is very clear about what he wants. He speaks through whispers. If anything, you’re more obligated to try Mama Thompson’s chili now. You don’t want evil to win, do you? You don’t want whatever Mama T was involved into happen again, do you? No. You don’t.
And, who knows, maybe the chili was the only thing keeping whatever evil Mama T was toying with at bay. Maybe the chili was instilled with the power of GOD. It’s not in the ingredients, but the Lord works in mysterious ways, so He could definitely work through chili. Anything is possible. Anything except getting my sons behave, actually. If Foster could just change his awful attitude or for Josiah to once— just once— say he enjoys my cooking. Call me up and say, “dad, could you make that chili tonight?” But no. Never. If I’m being honest, there are times I just want to kill them. And is that my fault? It’s not. It’s because my sons refuse to obey. They refuse to listen. Just like the rest of this town. And you know what? Mama Thompson knew how that felt. She knew, and being the solutions-oriented woman she was, she went and found a solution: MOLOCH. MOLOCH will come, and HE will cleanse the filth. Fire and blood will fill the skies and rivers. Howling winds will be drowned out by the screams of the innocent. The earth itself will crack and the unpure will be shackled together to rot forever. There will be only MOLOCH and MOLOCH will usher in the End. MOLOCH will simplify the equation, destroy the algorithm of life. The pallid dichotomy of existence will cease. No more light. No more dark. Only MOLOCH.
Well, that wraps up our time with Mama Thompson’s chili. I really hope you enjoyed this recipe. Please come back next week when I’ll be sharing just what makes Old Man Haverson’s oatmeal cookies so special.